maRGa’s Blog

Haha! It’s been a while since I last posted here. There have been countless attempts to do so but i just couldn’t find the perfect timing and condition perhaps?:) It’s already the end of March and I just couldn’t believe that in a short span of time, a number of sudden and tremendous events happen. Some made me happy, some sad, others made me furious.

Anyway, I was supposed to surprise a friend the other day and left her a text message that would keep her hanging for a week. (haha) Little did she know I already planned a vacation for us in a place we’ve been wanting to visit. I haven’t seen this person for a while already and i want to treat her as my way of making up for the 3 months of not seeing each other. (not even texting). So, i texted her that I will be seeing her and that I will tell her something ‘important’ while laughing so hard because I’d be expecting her to beg and have me spill it out. I miss her and the thought of playing with her is just so cool (well at least for me..:))

I was already about to sleep when I received a text message from her. She told me she’s fine and that she also needs to see me. I didn’t find any trace of curiosity on the text she sent me. I expected her to ask me what it was all about but well, there was none. Worse, she told me that SHE NEEDS TO TELL ME SOMETHING IMPORTANT TOO. Putang ina. This is one message you don’t want to receive especially when you’re about to sleep. for heaven’s sake! I thought she was just playing with me and just bounced back what I did to her. But she texted back and hell yes, she was dead serious. I replied back and asked what it was to rest my damn soul. That time I already have this ‘woman’ feeling of what it is. After a number of messages she confirmed it that she is. Fuck.(the 1st word to come out of my mouth) But she did assure me that she’s well and happy and that her family is with her (not sure with the dad). Right now her condition is kind of sensitive but she’s getting by it. Although I had and still have mixed emotions, I assured her that I’m with and that I support her all the way. If I didn’t have work that night I might have rushed to her house and checked her out.

I might be wrong on saying too much and being open about what I feel. Maybe I’m just being protective and conservative in a way. We all know pregnancy comes after marriage and NOT before marriage. Others may not agree on this (I respect that) but we know it’s the normal cycle in life women go through. I bet every girl dream to walk down the aisle first before getting pregnant and all (of course, the hassle on dealing with the papers and the lawyers are exceptions..haha) Also, there are a lot of considerations to make first before getting into a life changing situation like motherhood.

Considerations like:

1. the father of the child-this one’s hard.)

2. financial matters e.g regular check ups, giving birth, raising the baby- this one’s harder

3. giving up the single life- watching out for the baby, changing diapers, breastfeeding(ayoko na!), sleepless nights tending the baby sleep, plus the partner/husband’ s selfish needs(hell…joke lang) OVER going out and not minding getting home late, wasting money on shopping and having to care less about anything. - THIS ONE’S THE HARDEST.

I’m not just referring to my friend. I’m talking in general. Don’t get me wrong. This is just my opinion. I have friends who didn’t end up like the one I mentioned and yeah there’s nothing wrong about it. They were able to grace their way out of the situation pretty well and I admire them. All the more, it’s none of my business and besides, I might be the one who’ll break my own rules…hope not. hehe

I know you requested not to tell everyone first. I understand and agree that it’s better to lessen the stress you’re feeling now. I know one day you’ll be able to read this. You know I care for you. you’re one of my longest and most reliable friends in the world. I have to admit I’m kind of jealous because I can no longer drag you anytime and anywhere I want to without hearing a word from you. I know your time will be divided and that the possibility of you listening to my woes and heartaches will be lessened..haha! BUT I’m more jealous coz you’ll soon have an angel and I don’t..yet. Seriously, I admire your courage to be able to stand up for it. I have seen how people mature because of motherhood. In your case, you’re matured even before that came that’s why I always run to you…remember 07/01/08? I’m happier to know I’m gonna be a godmother to another angel. Well, if others are born to be forever bridesmaids, I hope and pray I’m not doomed to be just a godmother of every friend’s baby forever.. I just wish your guy will take care of you more than ever. I’ll be optimistic for you as you were to me on my last dreadful relationship. I was supposed to take you with me to C*** next month but i know this time it is not possible. Of course, I understand. Things happen for a purpose and the vacation will just give us happiness in the meantime and there will always be next time. who knows? it would be merrier because of the added baby.

Motherhood is a blessing. It’s a realization that yeah, you are fertile. haha According to one close friend of ours too, it’s like almost every girl friend around us were/are pregnant or guy friends being single dads…and it leaves us to what? uhmmm….virgins still?hahahaha

cheers. life is beautiful. sometimes it sucks pero carry lang…:)