2008
JAN: I made the biggest mistake of throwing everything up in the air. I came from a month long vacation(well-deserved I have to say) in Davao. It was supposed to just last for 2 weeks but I had it extended for 2 more weeks and pretended to have, well. ’sore eyes’ (why not? hehe 
I guess I was just too overwhelmed of being in Davao-my comfort zone, no traffic, friends, beaches and just everything bout the place. Everything went well. My vacation leaves were all approved(even my ’sore eyes’ condition was ok). I was able to get back to Manila just fine. I don’t know what happened that made me decide to give everything up and go back ‘home’ (which isn’t likely as I didn’t stay home). I actually know but it has something to do with what happened to my partner back then. I don’t blame anyone. It was my fault. I suddenly changed my mind and made a decision of trying my luck there. At that time, I thought I made a wise and timely decision of working there and at the same time going back to school and study Law.
FEB: The first month was really cool for us. I personally thought I made the right decision of going back. I was going out every now and then, drinking sessions every night, malling and going to places I missed. But that feeling didn’t last long. Although, I was immediately hired for a particular Call Center there the long term effects of the wrong decision were slowly surfacing. It’s hard to elaborate on them.
MAR-MAY: I stayed in Cotabato though there were times I travel back to Davao to settle some finances. This frustrates me to remember how things didn’t turn out the way I planned it. Too many promises. Too many assurances. Too many excuses. Too many lies. (I’m too used/sick/tired of hearing it.)Everything were all blah-blahs. BS. FS. Worse, I turned to my mom as I lost my job. I wasn’t even in Davao in the first place. Although, it was a good experience to be in a place where they welcome and treat you very well(I’m thankful and will always be) and enjoy the view of a new place and a wholly different culture still it was not what I badly wanted at that moment. I wanted to work and study Law. These months were the hardest for me. I want to leave but I just can’t. Too complicated.
JUN: Something happened that made us stay in Davao for ‘good’. This time, everything seemed to be going well but in reality, deep inside I was feeling all so guilty for being bum for those months. My parents are the one supporting me which is definitely the other way around. Shameful. I couldn’t provide a valid explanation on what the hell I was doing, on where I was and why I wasn’t working and studying. My brother’s 1st yr death anniversary. I did not think of it as something I will be commemorating or celebrating. I think of it at that time as an opportunity for me to escape.
JUL: I went back to Manila. I have to say this was the hardest month for me. I left Davao with almost nothing with me. Cathy can attest to that. Good thing I was easily hired. The hard part, I had to wait. I relied on stupid promises. It kept me hanging. I got lost. Damn, can’t say much. I went back to scratch with nothing but one small gym bag with everything in there. One picture of me with Cathy smoking provoked everything. And it had nothing to do with the smoking but the stupid reason of going out. ha! Anyway, I knew it was time. It had been long overdue. I should have been out even weeks after it all started. I couldn’t even imagine now how I endured all the fights, unending arguments. It wasn’t me at all. I knew leaving everything would mean starting from nothing but it’s okay. I can no longer have that life(you can’t even call it one).
AUG-SEP: I fixed everything up. Yeah I started from scratch. No one had an idea on how I survived but I did. I met new friends who, until now, still guides me. I have Ate Tess who inspires me to become better and more mature. So many I almost fall off but she, along with Jandi and the rest of my friends helped me get over with things and move on. It was also around this time when i finally quit smoking. And yeah, I was starting to lose weight (love it!). Everything was slowly going back to where it should be-reconciled with some family members and friends, fixed my credit card woes(haha). I started my new work good. I had fun with my new circle of friends(never a dull moment).
NOV: I started my new life. No more rules. I was so happy to do what I want without anyone getting mad. I enjoy work so much. I was able to get in touch with my friends more often. I’m online here at friendster 24 hours and nobody cares!haha! I meet new people and everything is nothing but a breath of fresh air for me. I’m thankful that before the year ended, I was able to fix my life. I may not be able to attend to some important family affair but I good thing they understood. I won’t be able to take care of others when deep down I was crushed and all.
DEC: It’s sad to say that I spent the Holidays alone. Well, not really. I spent XMAS and New Year’s Eve at work. It was fun. I was with my officemates. I also went to Tagaytay and was welcomed by my foster family..hehe If I had a choice I should have been in MGY to be with my parents but it’s not just possible. There will be other times when I can go home and see them. I’m happy and thankful for everything that I have now. I appreciate everybody more. The Holidays doesn’t really have to be celebrated by being physically together. What’s important is what is in your hearts and making your loved ones happy even when you’re not around.
so emo…hehe
2008 isn’t the best year(as it has yet to come) but it’s one of the better years I had. I may have started it a bit off but good thing I was able to redeem myself. So many times that were wasted. I can no longer afford to lose even a sec. I do not have any regrets. Everything is bound to happen. The only thing that frustrates me is that it took me a more than a while to realize I was wrong. Life is short to be angry all the time. I don’t have grudges or anything. I wish everybody well. You know how appreciative I am even on very little things. I’m happy to do what I need and want. Everything so simple. No pressures. No worries. No unnecessary guilt feeling. So thankful I was able to get over it and was able to move on.
Anyway, Im looking forward to 2009.
New Year’s Resolution?
-just be more wiser and more mature this time.
-I’ll take my time. Enjoy as much as I can but never compromise in what I believe in.
-to be less stubborn(haha) and yes, lessen my collection of moods
-to be more consistent (esp on diet)
-never drink–uh oh i cannot promise..hahaha!!!
