maRGa’s Blog

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PHILIPPINES!!!

Johnny Deep Sh*t!

I’m on one of the many who likes Bob Ong. Humurously true.

1. “Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya..”

2. “Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba.”

3. “Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.”

4. “Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.”

5.“Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo

kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.”

6. “Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo..

Dapat lumandi ka din.”

7. “Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na

araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang.”

8. “Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi

pagkukusa.”

9. “Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao

rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang.”

10. “Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka

naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una.”

11. “Hindi porke’t madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa

mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo.

Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi,

pa-fall o paasa.” =====>>tagos.

12. “Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon,

mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha

dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng

tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan

nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka.”

13. “Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay,

kasi hindi ikaw ang priority.”

14. “Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida

sa script na pinili nya.”

15. “Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag

nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang

makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo.”

16. “Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa

paggawa ng wala”

17. “Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng

hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan”

18. “Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin

ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo.

Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang

hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang

na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay!

Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi

ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari

sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!”

19. “Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na

pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at

iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo.”

20. “Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo.

Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo.”

*****more more more more

“Nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay. hindi ito multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the- blanks na sinasagutan kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw. Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga isinulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures.”

“Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad sa bubog nang nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nila kung saan ang mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan.”

“Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may pagkukulang sa’yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili.”

“Tuparin ang mga pangarap. Obligasyon mo yan sa sarili mo. Kung gusto mo mang kumain ng balde-baldeng lupa para malagay ka sa Guinness Book of World Records at maipagmalaki ng bansa natin, sige lang. Nosi balasi. wag mong pansinin ang sasabihin ng mga taong susubok humarang sa’yo. Kung hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon, hindi pa rin tayo dapat nakatira sa jupiter ngayon. Pero hindi pa rin naman talaga tayo nakatira sa jupiter dahil nga hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon. Kita mo yung moral lesson?”

“Nalaman kong habang lumalaki ka, maraming beses kang madadapa. Bumangon ka man ulit o hindi, magpapatuloy ang buhay, iikot ang mundo, at mauubos ang oras.”

HALO-HALO

“Ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko.”

“Hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?”

“Hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay kasinungalingan na ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan. ”

“Sabi nila, sa kahit ano raw problema, isang tao lang ang makakatulong sa’yo - ang sarili mo. Tama sila. Isinuplong ako ng sarili ko. Kaya siguro namigay ng konsyensya ang Diyos, alam niyang hindi sa lahat ng oras e gumagana ang utak ng tao.”

“Obligasyon kong maglayag, karapatan kong pumunta sa kung saan ko gusto, responsibilidad ko ang buhay ko.”

“Masama akong tao, tulad mo, sa parehong paraan na mabuti kang tao, tulad ko.”

“Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala.”

“Iba ang walang ginagawa sa gumagawa ng wala.”

“Iba ang informal gramar sa mali !!!”

“Para san ba ang cellphone na may camera? Kung kailangan sa buhay yun, dapat matagal na kong patay.”

“Pare, isa kang totoong tao at walang halong kasinungalingan. In English, FACT you, pare. Totoo ka. In English, FACT you!”

It’s 2:37am and I’m still awake and online. haha! I woke up earlier than I expected and I still felt a bit tired but I knew I have to get up coz somebody is waiting for me (Ate Tess). We had dinner around 9:30pm and as usual we finished late as I kept on telling stories about anything. I kinda of feel tired and bored and wasn’t in the mood to do anything when out of nowhere I just thought of going to a bar near our place and drink. I jokingly invited Ate Tess(she doesn’t drink) and I was surprised coz she then agreed. siniswerte nga naman..I didnt wasted time and then head to the shower and dress up. Well, I didnt give her any time to change her mind actually. haha We agreed to stay in the bar I usually hang out. It was fine. we stayed there for more or less than an hour. And boy, what appetite we had? After drinking beer, we then went to the convenience store in front of the bar to buy, uhm, ice cream..hehe

Anyway, we were really supposed to go out in just a short while because I was set to meet Patricia at PeopleSupport around 12:30am. It’s been a while since we havent seen each other. The last time we saw each other was January of last year. We had countless of times to settle the date and time of when and where to meet but we just can’t agree on one. We have different rest days and yes I have to admit, Im the worst texter in the world I guess. I only text (not just Tricia) when I need to and I rarely reply (or if I do, it would just be once or twice and after, I keep it hanging..hehe) We have been texting and even calling each other for so many months already but we cannot meet until now.
****to make it short, we finally agreed to meet just 2 hours ago. I joined her in her lunch time. I missed her and was so happy to see her. We talked and updated each other. Plus, I got the chance to see my friends especially the ‘morning’ people, Gacis and Lovely. I just missed them and Im happy that they do too. They even told me that Im still their ‘George’(this is what they call me on the floor and shoot I cannot remember why. I only remember the ‘Donna’. haha!)

I already met B-anne(my breakfast date as always..hehe), Honeybee and Mitzie. I also met Tricia, JP and Lovely. So when will I see the rest? hehe I missed them and the account. Hope our plans of meeting soon will come into reality. Sana!!! I just spent like more or less than an hour there but it feels so good to see them even for a short time. I didn’t spent even a single time with them except work time. And it’s been like a year already since I saw them but everything and everyone’s still the same. Im happy.

but I cannot sleep without listening to one song I just like so much from the moment I heard it last night. Ate Tess was making fun of me while I was preparing myself to work. She was letting me guess all the titles of the songs she has on her phone and suggested that I should join some ‘lyrics’ game show. I didn’t mind too much as I was pre-occupied of dressing up and preparing my stuff for work when she played a song from Mariah. Im not so into Mariah(shouting and all..hehe) songs lately but this one I really like A LOT. I did nothing but listened to the song before heading to work, during my breaks, on my  1hour break and even after work–worse, even until now. My officemates find the song ordinary and they werent thrilled like the way I do. I can’t explain why I love this song. I cant even relate to the song. HELL NO!

“I Stay In Love”

Oh baby
Baby, I stay in love with you

Hey, what I wanna do is
Ride shotgun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block
Proud in the SUV
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can’t last one moment alone
Now go I know

JAN: I made the biggest mistake of throwing everything up in the air. I came from a month long vacation(well-deserved I have to say) in Davao. It was supposed to just last for 2 weeks but I had it extended for 2 more weeks and pretended to have, well. ’sore eyes’ (why not? hehe I guess I was just too overwhelmed of being in Davao-my comfort zone, no traffic, friends, beaches and just everything bout the place. Everything went well. My vacation leaves were all approved(even my ’sore eyes’ condition was ok). I was able to get back to Manila just fine. I don’t know what happened that made me decide to give everything up and go back ‘home’ (which isn’t likely as I didn’t stay home). I actually know but it has something to do with what happened to my partner back then. I don’t blame anyone. It was my fault. I suddenly changed my mind and made a decision of trying my luck there. At that time, I thought I made a wise and timely decision of working there and at the same time going back to school and study Law.

FEB: The first month was really cool for us. I personally thought I made the right decision of going back. I was going out every now and then, drinking sessions every night, malling and going to places I missed. But that feeling didn’t last long. Although, I was immediately hired for a particular Call Center there the long term effects of the wrong decision were slowly surfacing. It’s hard to elaborate on them.

MAR-MAY: I stayed in Cotabato though there were times I travel back to Davao to settle some finances. This frustrates me to remember how things didn’t turn out the way I planned it. Too many promises. Too many assurances. Too many excuses. Too many lies. (I’m too used/sick/tired of hearing it.)Everything were all blah-blahs. BS. FS. Worse, I turned to my mom as I lost my job. I wasn’t even in Davao in the first place. Although, it was a good experience to be in a place where they welcome and treat you very well(I’m thankful and will always be) and enjoy the view of a new place and a wholly different culture still it was not what I badly wanted at that moment. I wanted to work and study Law. These months were the hardest for me. I want to leave but I just can’t. Too complicated.

JUN: Something happened that made us stay in Davao for ‘good’. This time, everything seemed to be going well but in reality, deep inside I was feeling all so guilty for being bum for those months. My parents are the one supporting me which is definitely the other way around. Shameful. I couldn’t provide a valid explanation on what the hell I was doing, on where I was and why I wasn’t working and studying. My brother’s 1st yr death anniversary. I did not think of it as something I will be commemorating or celebrating. I think of it at that time as an opportunity for me to escape.

JUL: I went back to Manila. I have to say this was the hardest month for me. I left Davao with almost nothing with me. Cathy can attest to that. Good thing I was easily hired. The hard part, I had to wait. I relied on stupid promises. It kept me hanging. I got lost. Damn, can’t say much. I went back to scratch with nothing but one small gym bag with everything in there. One picture of me with Cathy smoking provoked everything. And it had nothing to do with the smoking but the stupid reason of going out. ha! Anyway, I knew it was time. It had been long overdue. I should have been out even weeks after it all started. I couldn’t even imagine now how I endured all the fights, unending arguments. It wasn’t me at all. I knew leaving everything would mean starting from nothing but it’s okay. I can no longer have that life(you can’t even call it one).

AUG-SEP: I fixed everything up. Yeah I started from scratch. No one had an idea on how I survived but I did. I met new friends who, until now, still guides me. I have Ate Tess who inspires me to become better and more mature. So many I almost fall off but she, along with Jandi and the rest of my friends helped me get over with things and move on. It was also around this time when i finally quit smoking. And yeah, I was starting to lose weight (love it!). Everything was slowly going back to where it should be-reconciled with some family members and friends, fixed my credit card woes(haha). I started my new work good. I had fun with my new circle of friends(never a dull moment).

NOV: I started my new life. No more rules. I was so happy to do what I want without anyone getting mad. I enjoy work so much. I was able to get in touch with my friends more often. I’m online here at friendster 24 hours and nobody cares!haha! I meet new people and everything is nothing but a breath of fresh air for me. I’m thankful that before the year ended, I was able to fix my life. I may not be able to attend to some important family affair but I good thing they understood. I won’t be able to take care of others when deep down I was crushed and all.

DEC: It’s sad to say that I spent the Holidays alone. Well, not really. I spent XMAS and New Year’s Eve at work. It was fun. I was with my officemates. I also went to Tagaytay and was welcomed by my foster family..hehe If I had a choice I should have been in MGY to be with my parents but it’s not just possible. There will be other times when I can go home and see them. I’m happy and thankful for everything that I have now. I appreciate everybody more. The Holidays doesn’t really have to be celebrated by being physically together. What’s important is what is in your hearts and making your loved ones happy even when you’re not around.

so emo…hehe

2008 isn’t the best year(as it has yet to come) but it’s one of the better years I had. I may have started it a bit off but good thing I was able to redeem myself. So many times that were wasted. I can no longer afford to lose even a sec. I do not have any regrets. Everything is bound to happen. The only thing that frustrates me is that it took me a more than a while to realize I was wrong. Life is short to be angry all the time. I don’t have grudges or anything. I wish everybody well. You know how appreciative I am even on very little things. I’m happy to do what I need and want. Everything so simple. No pressures. No worries. No unnecessary guilt feeling. So thankful I was able to get over it and was able to move on.

Anyway, Im looking forward to 2009.
New Year’s Resolution?

-just be more wiser and more mature this time.

-I’ll take my time. Enjoy as much as I can but never compromise in what I believe in.

-to be less stubborn(haha) and yes, lessen my collection of moods
-to be more consistent (esp on diet)

-never drink–uh oh i cannot promise..hahaha!!!